January 7th, 2015

The following is a MUST READ   A true story by one of our teachers  inspired by the focus and discussions at our school on what our character goals each month really can mean  in practical real life terms The ending is not in place and hopefully won’t be for a very long time. There are many Daves in our community and lives.

Richness is measured by your compassion for others.
This story starts in our staff room about 10 months ago. The talk was about how homeless people are asking for handouts at the off ramps. I commented that I would not give any money because it could be used for feeding addictions. In my mind I probably thought the real reason was more selfishness, although I thought I was a kind and caring person. My friend at the table taught me, inadvertently, that I could be kind and caring but on my own terms, which isn’t true compassion nor was I being honest with anyone, including myself. She very astutely suggested, “You could always buy a gift card and then you knew it would be used for food.” Unaware I think, or maybe not, she had caught me. So shortly after I was in a Tim’s and bought a few 10 dollar cards. I kept them in my car and one day at the Homer Watson off ramp of the expressway there is this elderly homeless man, perhaps you have seen him. The stop was perfect. This man never solicits and always has his back to the cars. I opened my window, called him over and gave him the Tim’s card. He thanked me, said that was kind and blessed me. It made us both happy and in my head I thanked my friend. But this story continues.
I was picking up my daughter, Amy, from work and at the off ramp I saw this man again. I asked Amy to find my Tim’s cards in the glove compartment, she didn’t know why and she said she couldn’t find them. It was too late and the traffic streamed by him, myself included. As we drove along Homer Watson, I realized that I had the cards in the consol, so I asked Amy if we could make a detour. She said yes and so I turned around at Hanson and headed back. She asked where we were going and I said you will see. I gave her a card and told her to roll down the window. We had to stop on the road but he came over and by then my daughter knew what she was about to do. He thanked her and blessed her kindness. Even now as I think about the look on my Amy’s face, a mixture of warmth and joy yet sadness and compassion, my eyes still become misty. On that day I didn’t want her to see her dad like that so I quickly put on my sunglasses and off we drove. We turned around on Hoffman and headed back, my eyes now dry so I took off my sunglasses. But as we drove by we could see him, he had his rickety old bike by the fence, climbed on and began peddling quickly. We believe he was rushing to Tim Horton’s and we both could see his smile. Sunglasses went back on. At that moment I lightheartedly cursed my friend for her suggestion. My daughter saw a different side of me that day, she knew I was kind to her friends and others but this was very different somehow. I’m not sure why. But this story continues.
My friend also does these kind acts, handing out change or Tim’s cards as well but she also told me that she saw, on a cold day just recently, a man going through trash at the Stanley Park Mall. She noticed he had no gloves, so she bought some and gave them to him simply because, as she said, “Its what he needed.” Another lesson taught. So I decided to talk to the man that I had met. I had the chance a few days later and this time when he turned and accepted the Tim’s card, there have been a few by now, he recognized me. I extended my hand and he shook it. I asked his name. He said it was Dave and I told him mine. I asked him if he was warm enough and he said yes but his gloves were tattered and barely held together. I now have a pair for him in my car and a warmer coat if he will take it. Dave. He looks like an old salt of the sea, with a gentle voice and a slight east coast accent. As he hobbles back to his spot I can tell his one leg is not as good as the other. He is a person just like me, maybe a better person, because it took me this many years to see him or anyone like him in need. One remaining, “But this story continues.”
I no longer drink coffee, haven’t for over a year. My classes have always been generous with their gifts and a Tim’s card was an easy choice. But since I don’t go there anymore, I think it made it a bit more challenging to think of something, although I usually just ask for a donation to a food drive. This year, I told them my story about Dave and what I know of him. I also said that if they give me a Tim’s card for Christmas, and again I explain that they do not have to do anything, but if they did it would find its way to Dave or another needy individual. My students are kind and wonderful to begin with, but they also gave me numerous Tim’s cards for Dave. I haven’t seen Dave for a while, maybe you have? But I hope to see him soon, ready with the gloves and the cards. If you get a chance, pick up a few gift cards and then the next time you see someone in need, share happiness.
It all began with, “Being kind means giving kindness.”

Fortune found me today, on the first Saturday in January. It was cold, with snow, sleet then rain if you remember, and there was Dave. I pulled to the side this time and he came over. I think he recognizes me easily now. Our routine is pretty standard, but always special for me. This time though I said, if he didn’t mind, I had something for him. I gave him some warm winter gloves, he looked at them and leaned closer to me. He said, “You know, I had a pair exactly like these but they got stolen at the shelter.” I said, “It wasn’t me, Dave!” and we laughed and I realized that I would share that same laughter with people at work, at home and with good friends. We are all the same, you know. Sometimes we just need things. I needed to be reminded of that just like Dave needed gloves.
After running an errand I tried to return quickly to him with a hot soup and sandwich but he was already gone. I drove around for a while looking, but I guess he went back to the shelter. I still have a sweater for him in case he needs that too. I hope I will see Dave again soon.
Thank you for helping me be kind.

A Mackenzie King Teacher